Good Joke for Speech Material

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you
determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to
empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket
because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you
want a bed near the window?"

Singing in the Rain

When you're taking part in your outdoor activities on your stag weekend you'll soon be able to listen to music wherever you are, no matter how wet, dusty or dry the conditions by protecting your MP3 player with the latest addition to aquapac's range of water, dust and sand-proof protective cases. Specifically designed for MP3  the case has a clear front panel so you can operate the player's controls and a built-in external headphone jack that seals off the case. Price is £40