Nightmare First Date Story

This is probably one of the funniest first date stories ever. Jay Leno, an American TV Show presenter went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.  The winner described her worst first date experience.

There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... And the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .  It was a day trip (no overnight).  They were strangers, after all, and had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.  They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!  Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile.  Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.  In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.  All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.  As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.  Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.  It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance!  He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.  She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!  Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down.

Or perhaps that should be 'pants down. '  And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.


The Wise Women's Stone - A Lesson For Us All


A wise woman who was travelling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveller who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveller saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation.

The traveller left rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But, a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said. “I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious.”

He continued, “Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone.”


For more information on activity weekends in Wales visit our website.




How To Be a Better Lover

Just found this article which maybe of interest to you - How to be a better lover

A 10-year study of 168 couples by researchers at the University of Texas found that men and women who work out together as a couple have more satisfying sex. Non-competitive sports should do the trick, says Dr Megan Babkes Stellino, a professor of social psychology at the University of Northern Colorado


Wacky Retro Tips on the Opposite Sex, Life and Living

51A-Two9VhL__SL160_AA115_ I saw these in the paper yesterday. Apparently there is a glut of retro self-help books being published which are enjoying a resurgence. Brits are snapping up republished lifestyle advice books some dating back to Victorian times. Here are some advcie tips from "Aunt Epp's Guide for Life: From Chastity to Copper Kettles" by Elspeth Marr (1871-1947).

Adultery

"It is worth remembering that every man is an adulterer, since according to christ, "He that looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already, in his heart." And since the man does not live who has not lusted after a woman, every man is an offednder. the same is not true of you (woman) whom nature has made so much more selective of men." Harsh but true

Dating

"In times of singleness, courtship and love, breasts are your weapons of war. While your other charms remain suitably draped and hidden from mens eyes, our bosum, by its shape and contour, is always on show. And though your breasts are not seen, they are in evidence by suggestion. You should take care to increase and encourage that suggestion by all means possible, short of decolletage." No disagreement here.

To Avoid Conception

" If a man ios like a tomcat or the bull you should keep a stale fish beneath the bed on his side. Put it where he cannot discover it. For example loosen the floorboard and plant the fish underneath. the abd smell will take his mind off intercourse."

Childbirth

"As soon as the baby is born tie the unbilical  with a piece of red cord, or strip of red flannel. If it is a boy do not cut the unbilical cord too short , as the old folk said the length left attched determines the length of the penis, and a man is best left too long than to short." Can't argue with that.

For information on stag weekends visit the Call of the Wild website.


Stag Weekend Venues and Dates Through History

William-tell Here's an alternative history for stag weekends, stag nights and parties. You may have your own.

1066 - Stamford Bridge and Hastings very popular for the lads on tour and particularly European  stag groups from Scandinavia and Northern France

1189 - Brits get a bad reputation as they sample hot foreign soil on a jolly for the first time. Its a bit of a crusade in the Med sun. First package travel experienece for stags to Europe and Middle East. Richard's group the first to the Middle East.

1415 - Stag weekends and lads on tour becoming more popular with trips to Europe and particulalrly northern France. One problem here some Welsh lads go mad with strongbow and upset the French.

1543 - Stag Nights really become popularised by Henry Tudor who enjoyed them so much had his sixth stag night in this year. This effectively popularised the now well established tradition of the stag night.

1605 - Stag night prank goes wrong on 5th November  and Houses of Parliament nearly burn down. Total over reaction by the authorities and stag night organiser Guy is hung, drawn and quartered.

1805 - Stag night cruises from Southern Spain became very popular. These were all inclusive and included all food and lodging. Stag activities included shooting canon at French and Spanish sailors.

1815 - Brussels - The Brit lads on tour again this time in Belgium. This did degenerate into a bit of pitched battle with some French lads there at the same time.

1914 - An influx of stag parties to the beer festivals of Germany causes numerous problems resulting in it all kicking off big time!

1945 - Things calmed down from 1918 but then the same thing happened in Poland

Visit our website for more UK stag weekend information


Top 10 Cities Most Visited by Foreign Tourists (Not Stag Groups)

London2XSmall This list is interesting for the swots out there looking for quiz trivia for the stag night if you get bored - Not! Anyway this is interesting nonetheless. Top 10 cities most visited by foreign tourists based on amount spent. Stats from National Statistics 2006:-

1. London - £7m

2. Edinburgh - £484k

3. Manchester - £335k

4. Birmingham - £243k

5. Glasgow - £241k

6.Liverpool - £198k

See our earlier article for the most popualr UK stag destinations. Visit our website for UK stag weekend information

7. Oxford - £193k

8. Bristol - £ 129K

9. Cardiff - £127k

10. Cambridge - £149k


How to Undo a Bra with One Hand - Useful information for Stags

This is a public information information for all men out there. This video could be very useful for stags on their stag weekends and using their last night of freedom to the full. It gives excellent visual advice on how to undo a bra with one hand. This is one of life's mysteries for many men and one not mastered during their lifetime. So fear not help is literally at hand. Happy viewing!
THE LOVE STORY: How To Undo Her Bra With One Hand

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Think Before you Litter

Beware - Stupid People About

When you're travelling in Wales and thinking of dropping your litter don't do what this chap did. He dumped  a load of household rubbish on the outskirts of Wrexham. He deliberately chose a spot where there was a roadside sign warning against fly-tipping. he even went to the trouble of tying some of the rubbish to the sign. But it didn't take long for the Council sleuths to track him down.

Amongst the rubbish he had left his old front door -  complete with street number. As if that wasn't enough of a clue he'd also left his home address on papers down the back of his abandoned sofa.